HOUSE REPUBLICANS LINE UP FOR FREE ANNUAL PHYSICALS BEFORE DEFUNDING OBAMACARE
By Andy Borowitz
September 20 — Saying that they needed to be in peak physical condition for their looming effort to defund Obamacare, over a hundred House Republicans lined up for their free annual physicals today.
The physicals, part of Congress’s government-subsidized health-care package, yielded good news for many of the House G.O.P., who learned that they were strong and healthy enough for the demanding task of defunding Obamacare.
“My blood pressure was lower than I thought it would be,” said Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio). “That’s amazing, because it goes through the roof whenever I think about how Obamacare would destroy America.”
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Virginia)—whose free annual physical included an examination of his heart, lungs, ears, eyes, throat, and blood—said that his doctor proclaimed him in perfect physical condition: “He said I should be able to live a long, healthy life and defund Obamacare for many years to come.”
Rep. Cantor added that he had lost a few pounds since last year’s free annual physical, as he headed to lunch before defunding food stamps.
Daily Archives: September 23, 2013 @ 2:03 pm (Monday)
Fed guys talking
Not tapering and all that goes with that can be called their push back vs higher mtg rates, in that tapering would have signaled they were ok with the higher rates.
A close ally of Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, Dudley highlighted the drags from the sharp recent rise in longer-term interest rates, higher taxes and lower public spending adopted earlier this year, and questions over the U.S. debt limit and government funding as Congress meets this autumn.
Dudley also said the Fed could “wait a long time” to raise interest rates once the unemployment rate hits a 6.5 percent threshold.
Atlanta Fed boss Dennis Lockhart said the labor market still needed a spark to continue its recovery, Dow Jones reported.
“We see a picture in which fewer firms are expanding employment, and each expanding firm is adding fewer new jobs on average than in the past,” Lockhart said, according to a report, adding that the “employment dynamics of the U.S. economy are slower.”